I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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