everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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