she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
