OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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