I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
