no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
