I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize
