You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
