He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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