yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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