my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
