Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
