The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Randomize
