While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
