Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
