please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
