just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
