Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
