If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
