wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
