hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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