weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
