Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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