just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
no you cant smoke seaweed
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
