Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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