these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she told me i tasted like america
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
