They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just had sex on a roof
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
