apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
