He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
