dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
