I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize