kristin has been a bad kristin
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can't put those talents on a resume
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
