Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
