First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
