Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
