Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
