census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you had me at cake vodka
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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