I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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