someone threw a dead crab at me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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