She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
