smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
