How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
