she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We had sex on a dog bed..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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