Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize