You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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