I just made out with a guy for $7.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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