I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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