You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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