Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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