Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
