You're completely useless in the revolution.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
