I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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