I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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