put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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