I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
