omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
