you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
