I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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