My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you had me at cake vodka
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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